My wife and I have recently come to a place of sudden and life altering news, and for the first several days we simply felt stunned. There was, and still is, a tremendous amount of crying out to God, but there was also a struggle to understand why we were brought here. God was faithful to meet us and call us to trust Him. Yet, He didn't describe what trusting Him this time around is going to mean. We believe He has us in His hands and that He is in the process of answering our prayers, but we just don't know how He will do this. It feels like we've taken the first deep breath after coming out of the water but haven't yet exhaled. We'll begin breathing normally again, but until we do we're in between. At least, it feels that way to me.
It is in the in between that my heart is overwhelmed. It is a place of utter vulnerability where I recognize that I am powerless to change my circumstances. While I have a promise from God to answer my call, and my bitter cry, still I must wait to see it fulfilled. The in between is the place where the enemy of my soul longs to bring me fear and cause me to question my Holy Father. It is also a place where my Abba sees and feels my torment with me. It is a place where He reminds me of His utter love and compassion poured out for me through His son Jesus.
The in between is a place where I need to be reminded of my Daddy God's presence, His touch, and His loving eyes. It is in this place where I learn to trust my God anew, and that while He will not always take the pain from me He will lead me through the darkness. I don't think I will ever embrace these places, but I will look forward to the sweet embrace of my God as long as I'm there.
Habbakuk 3:19The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enable me to go on the heights.
