No Light Ahead?

People always seem to talk about there being a light at the end of a tunnel right when you happen to be walking through a dark and challenging time. I know they only mean to bring hope. I've even spoken those words myself to try and encourage friends or loved ones from time to time. Yet, I've come to realize something that I didn't understand before. Sometimes when the road is especially hard, the pain is deep, and you can't see the way in front of you it can seem as though all light has gone out, especially at the end of the tunnel.

I used to be a person who always saw the way ahead. No matter what unexpected turn may have come my eyes remained set on the path ahead of me, the one I just knew the Lord had set my feet upon. There was just one problem. Somewhere along the journey, early on I suppose, I stopped being content with simply following the Lord's lead and began trying to forge ahead. I was certain I knew the path He was taking me on, even though I'd never been there before.

By God's kindness and grace I eventually came to realize I wasn't really following HIM all that well. What a blow it was to my pride when my eyes were opened to the truth of my limits and frailty, which I suppose was exactly the point. Then something else began to happen. The Lord didn't stop at revealing my sin of arrogance but began taking me deep into myself to reveal long hidden wounds and buried bitterness. Suddenly God wasn't talking to me about the road ahead anymore, and I had sure lost confidence in myself to see it. Instead, He was telling me to simply wait upon and to trust Him. Each time He'd reveal an old, but fresh, wound I would hear those same words again. The last thing I wanted to do was to turn and face each point of pain, but it seemed there was no moving forward through the darkness unless I did.

So, that's where I've been these days, walking through this tunnel that at times seems unbearably dark. At every bend there seems to be another reminder of past pain and regret, ones which I had unknowingly buried deep beneath the surface. As I bump into them this time around though I know I've been equipped by my Comforter to face them and receive His healing. I believe God has my way well planned out and even though I can't see where He's taking me I know He is trustworthy. Even though His road for me requires treading through dark and lonely places I will go. I'll do it because He's called me to and I know I will not be alone, whether I can see the light or not.

Deuteronomy 31:8

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."