The Sublte Fade of Cynicism

What do you do when the fading leaf of cynicism has fallen to the ground and is beginning to settle in the soil of your heart? Like any attitude, ill or healthy, we can quickly recognize the things we feel toward others and develop opinions about these individuals based on our feelings. We may even feel justified in a particularly negative attitude if we know of wrong choices or behaviors, having been displayed by them. Yet, what do you do when a momentary response has subtly changed, like a fading and falling leaf, to become the new way of interacting with this individual?...and...despite the recognized illness and hurtfulness of the other's behavior we seemed to have lost the ability to really love them?

Oh, and I do not mean the kind of contrived love that can be identified by the quick way we respond to those we know we should love and return their spoken sentiments to them like a neatly folded napkin tucked into its drawer. What do we do when the love that Paul spoke of isn't resident within us, at least concerning this person for whom we've become cynical?

As I sit here in a cozy Northwest coffee shop the Lord didn't take much time to show me that I had my own illness of cynicism eating away at me. He used the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 13, verses 6 and 7 to be exact, as a mirror to my soul. I realized, at least concerning a certain individual, that the love I spoke was no longer rising to the the protection, trust, hope, and perseverance that my dear friend Paul said should at least in part define love. Then I was further convicted when the Lord reminded me that in the youthfulness, and foolishness, of my own life I had done many things which caused me to be soiled and shamed in His presence...Yet, in His great grace and love me He took me in, truly washed me clean, and called me His own. So, how can I not display the same kind of concern and compassion for another?

So, once again, I ask you my dear friends, what do you do when cynicism keeps you from truly loving another?

Grieving for Vegas

This past week I was in Las Vegas, attending a conference for work. This was the first time I had ever spent any time on the main strip, which is where my hotel was located. While I'm thankful that I didn't feel a pull to engage in any of the activities Vegas is known for I was still very bothered. During my free time my wife (Thank you for coming with me babe) and I made it our aim to spend some very valuable time together in what we considered safe environments. I was truly blessed that she was there with me and am quite sure that if she were not the time outside of the conference would have been utterly miserable.

Still, once we had left and started on our way home there were certain images seen from Las Vegas Blvd I found difficult to forget. One such image is that of a man that quite literally crossed my path our last day there. I don't know his story but I do know he's a man that has seen many many miles, and it showed. His clothing was utterly stained and tattered and seemingly free of any un-frayed edges. He seemed barely able to shuffle his feet across the sidewalk. His face also bore the harshness his life on the streets had become accustomed to as he held an expression void of emotion but whose eyes seemed to yearn for something, anything, better than he'd known.

While this man serves as only one example to me of the hurt and pain and disillusion of a city that glorifies every unholy thing there were also many others I will not soon forget. All of these people have, quite unknowingly I'm sure, been trapped by sin's allure. While I was tremendously bothered by the expressions of sin I saw so rampant I was also grieved for the many people there who live from day to day from the inside of a prison cell, and yet they do not know. Yet, I am also not so naive to not recognize that the same allures are not found in that city alone. Quite sadly they are nearly everywhere, though not often as available or obvious.

So tonight I grieve. I grieve for those that have been deceived by the hellish lies and the sin that promises to offer so much, but in the end only provides a cold floor and a door of bars. I pray that in such places the influence and love of Christ would break all bonds and that the captives there would truly be set free. Won't you join me in praying for them too?

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Galatians 5:13-14

Peace and...Interruptions?

The wonderful richness of a freshly brewed cup of coffee along with my Bible and journal are three treasures I look forward to enjoying every week. Oh, I enjoy each of these daily, but not from the comfort of my favorite corner coffee shop. That time is usually only savored once every week. So, with my pack on my shoulder and one of my favorite mugs in hand I routinely go there before dawn every Saturday morning. I arrive at the shop and set my pack down on my preffered seat before acquring the caffeinated delight of choice. Then it's time to settle in and discover the freshness and depth of God's word to me for that day, and often for that season.

There is nothing quite so important to me as getting to know the Lord a little more from day to day and from week to week, and to hear Him speak what He will to me about my life. So, there in my own little corner of this coffee shop I attempt to attune my ears to His word, spoken through those written pages of ink. In fact, this has been so valuable to me that I try to utterly avoid (ignore?) the voices of those coming and going, and sometimes sitting right next to me. After all, is there anything so important as spending time with God, even to the extent of blocking out those near? Well, clearly I've revealed a flaw of character, and yet this had been my real attitude for years. I reasoned that since Jesus made it His practice to regularly go to solitary places to pray and be with His Father, shouldn't I do the same?

While it's true that Jesus did in fact make that His aim, He was also often interrupted by the lives of those all around. However, instead of causing people to feel like interruptions, He actually displayed His love and care for them, even in those moments when He desired to be alone. Not so long ago this reality began to sink in and the Lord challenged me to respond to others the same way, even in the midst of my beloved early Saturday morns. So, there I was yesterday morning, enjoying my hot cup of joe and trying to focus on the words of John Mark. However, I was distracted by a comment made by the gentlemen behind me chatting with the Barista. He mentioned that he was heading down that morning to visit with his wife, who was quite literally in prison.

I then immediately thought of a friend of mine that had recently become involved in prison ministry, and I wondered if she ministered at the same facility where this gentlemen's wife was incarcerated. Then, the Lord very quietly but very distinctly whispered to me telling me to speak to the man. So, of course I argued with Him about it...after all, how would he receive it? Since he would be taking his cup of coffee with him out the door in just moments what opportunity did I really have? When I realized he then had to wait a minute or two for my friends behind the counter to fetch him some creamer, or something, I knew the Lord had won the arguement.

"Sir...I couldn't help but overhear..." I said. To my surprise he very warmly received the words of concern and offer to connect his wife to this friend of mine. Although the exchange didn't go much beyond that the Lord made it clear to me that this gentleman was shown His love and care. As I sit here finishing this post (now over a week removed from the event of which I've written) I do not recall the content of my devotional reading and journaling that day. The Lord's stretching of my comfort zone is very clear however. May Christ so stretch all of us that those burdened by life's worries and hurt might know and feel His embrace.

Trail Guide

Venturing to any mountain’s ridgeline is a journey that always leaves me captivated and enthralled. The sheer beauty and majesty of it seems to take hold of me. I take joy in every wild flower that dances from the gentle movement of a welcome breeze. Every white ripple, no matter how great or small, breaking upon moss laden rocks brings delight to my soul. There is a thrill of catching just a glimpse of the mountains’ kingly creatures whether roaming about the land or soaring upon the wind. Yet, despite the glory of such natural bounty and creativity I find that I can at times be left exhausted, and not only physically.

You see I’ve discovered in recent years that the solitude of the wild has become like an intimate sanctuary for me. There are places where I am able to escape while enjoying a truly fulfilling rest even as I’m expending my energy. Yet, these journeys only provide me with the opportunities for such welcome peace. An outdoorsmen’s outlet alone cannot allow me the solace my soul longs for. That only comes when those places and moments I so much enjoy are shared with the One for whom my soul longs to be near, Jesus. I can journey across hills, through canyons, and over a mountain but I find that if such an adventure is not spent alongside my Lord it is only exhilarating in the moment while later I am spent. This usually only happens when my focus rests only on the content of my surroundings rather than the content of my company.

I also find this same reality to be at work in other places of my life not limited to a landscape penetrated by trails. Recently, I’ve felt challenged by the Lord to dream and to trust Him in a way I never expected He would desire me to, and yet His call could not be clearer. So I have responded to His beckon by taking the steps I have thus far seen placed before me. However, having done so I now find myself in a place of waiting, not because I’m unsure of where the trail might lead but simply because my Guide has said to wait. Yet, this has been incredibly challenging. Just as I can be compelled to take in the beauty of a wilderness and not share it with the Lord, since hearing this call I have also tended to set my gaze upon the trail that is still before me rather than upon the One I am meant to follow.

I don’t mean to write in such a mysterious way, it’s just that only a very small part about this journey has been shown to me at this point. While that may seem to be, even to me, the impetus for my frustration' I know that it is not. I have been frustrated and at times exhausted because I have given myself to anxious thoughts and even fears centered upon the unknown. These have caused me to feel just the way Bilbo describes himself in the Lord of the Rings, “thin, like butter scraped over too much bread". However, the Lord is never the author of fear or anxiety. While He will take that which causes us to question Him (or to doubt) and challenge us in those fears, this is only done so that we might give ear to Him and trust Him more surely. I don’t know exactly how this trail that has been set before me will unwind, but I do know that when I walk beside my Friend and Guide the journey is far richer.

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:13-14