OneJourney

Pursuing the One

2012-01-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

I first noticed him, with unkempt hair and dirty clothes, stopping in at the local Starbucks on especially cold mornings last winter. He made an impression on me because it’s rather unusual to see folk like him daring enough to come near to, well, people like me I suppose, and he couldn’t have been more than 19 years old. The young man carried with him a blanket which barely seemed fit for the trunk of my car. Yet, he walked with it draped about his shoulders. His simple desire seemed only to be warm, but his apparent shame was difficult to hide. As I later walked by him on my way to the bathroom I caught the unmistakable scent of a person who had not had a bath in a very long time. He didn’t pay any attention to me though. He just continued to read the discarded newspaper, blanket still wrapped about him. I wanted to help him somehow, but he didn’t seem interested in asking anyone for anything, and I didn’t want to offend him. However, before I left the restroom I decided I would at least offer to buy him a cup of coffee. Unfortunately, he had already left. Thankfully it wasn’t the last time I would see him.

A few weeks had gone by and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to see him again. Then, on another brisk winter morning he walked in to Starbucks once more, but this time he went directly into the bathroom. I was eager to meet him so I tried to pay attention to who came and went. After some time had passed I began to wonder if I’d missed him as he left. So, I got up and made my way toward the bathroom myself. After entering I immediately noticed the same odor I was met by as I walked past him on the first encounter, and then noticed a pair of very well worn sneakers which could just be seen beneath the divider. I realized that slowly warming up within the privacy afforded him in a bathroom stall must have felt much better as he was able to escape the peering eyes and awkward glances of those in the lobby.

Somehow I again missed him as he must have left while I was on the phone, or typed an email. I was so irritated with myself and felt I had blown my chance. I actually prayed right then for at least one more opportunity to meet him. My prayer was answered a few days later as I saw him once more at Starbucks. His routine was the same this time around, except as he reentered the lobby he sat down at an open table. Now was my chance. I made my way over and introduced myself, then asked him what his name was. Mike. I told him it was nice to meet him and asked if he was hungry, and if I could get him something to eat. Umm, sure. His clear and astonished eyes seemed to say so much more than his lips could muster. Then he shocked me. When it was time to order he simply asked for a small cup of coffee, nothing to eat. Are you sure? I asked, “You can get whatever you’d like.” Yeah, thanks, he said. We chatted for a minute then he went back to his seat and I returned to mine. He left shortly afterward, blanket still wrapped about him and a cup of coffee in his hand.

I’ve seen Mike around town and from a distance since then, and have even bumped into him on another occasion, and every time I wish there was something more I could do. Every time I wonder too what would drive a young man like himself to the streets. I don’t know if I’ll ever hear his story but I’m thankful for the meeting we had. I’m thankful too for the Lord urging me to get up out of my seat, and out of my comfort zone, that day, the same kind of urging I’m sure I’ve ignored too many times before. I suppose the difference was the many prayers asking Jesus to make me more like Him, and the countless times reading about Jesus’ own encounters, hoping I would someday simply live more boldly, compassionately, like I said, more like Jesus.

Lately, I’ve been looking even more intently at some of the encounters Jesus had with people. One particular story has been especially striking to me. It’s the account in the Gospel of John (John 4) where Jesus meets the woman at the well. I’ve only just realized how intentional His choice to remain at a Samaritan well during the “6^th hour of the day” was. Given these details Jesus was virtually guaranteed to meet a Samaritan woman, someone not just different from Himself, but wholly inappropriate for Him, as a Jewish and holy man, to associate with, especially in public. Yet, He showed no concern for such divisive social conventions while He did show great concern for the woman He met. The focus of their conversation centered first upon water and then restoration, but it was motivated entirely by Jesus’ great love and compassion for the lost, and those broken by life, and in this instance especially for her.

It was because Jesus dared to set aside the opinion of others and pursue someone who never would have sought Him out that not only was she restored to God, experiencing a freedom she had never before known, but so did many others from the village. As uncomfortable as it can be to approach a stranger, not to mention someone as “different” from me as Mike is, I want to continue growing in my willingness and care in doing so. People who are confused and hurting are not going to come and find me, but I can go and find them, and when I do I can give my ear to hearing their story. As Christ then would lead me, I can attempt to gently offer His loving and compassionate truth, which at first may look a lot like a cup of cold water, or maybe a cup of coffee.

A Place in-Between

2011-10-10T09:18:00.002-06:00

My wife and I have recently come to a place of sudden and life altering news, and for the first several days we simply felt stunned. There was, and still is, a tremendous amount of crying out to God, but there was also a struggle to understand why we were brought here. God was faithful to meet us and call us to trust Him. Yet, He didn't describe what trusting Him this time around is going to mean. We believe He has us in His hands and that He is in the process of answering our prayers, but we just don't know how He will do this. It feels like we've taken the first deep breath after coming out of the water but haven't yet exhaled. We'll begin breathing normally again, but until we do we're in between. At least, it feels that way to me.

It is in the in between that my heart is overwhelmed. It is a place of utter vulnerability where I recognize that I am powerless to change my circumstances. While I have a promise from God to answer my call, and my bitter cry, still I must wait to see it fulfilled. The in between is the place where the enemy of my soul longs to bring me fear and cause me to question my Holy Father. It is also a place where my Abba sees and feels my torment with me. It is a place where He reminds me of His utter love and compassion poured out for me through His son Jesus.

The in between is a place where I need to be reminded of my Daddy God's presence, His touch, and His loving eyes. It is in this place where I learn to trust my God anew, and that while He will not always take the pain from me He will lead me through the darkness. I don't think I will ever embrace these places, but I will look forward to the sweet embrace of my God as long as I'm there.

Habbakuk 3:19The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enable me to go on the heights.

Would All the Revolutionaries Please Stand Up?

2011-06-25T09:49:00.003-06:00

What does it mean to be a revolutionary? We study the concept from history. We watch from our televisions as nations are changed, seemingly overnight. Yet most of us can not appreciate what it means to take part in something that transforms a culture, a people, or a society. The need for revolution seems mostly foreign to us. We aren't able to quite comprehend what it would mean to utterly and completely overthrow a powerful enemy and to thoroughly change something. Perhaps we should. Perhaps we should consider the needs before us, in the lives of people all around us, and even within ourselves. So many of us look to fill the needs of our hearts and souls with so many things that simply cannot satisfy. Then, from good intentions we often mean to help others from the same empty solutions. Yet, there remains only one solution. Only the love of Christ can truly fill the longings of the hearts of men. As we allow Him to utterly transform us then can we be positioned to carry that same life altering and peace filling love to others.

So, where are all the revolutionaries? If we don't know where to look we won't see them, and we won't know how to join them. More often than not they won't be found on the 5 o'clock news, the morning headlines, or the front page of most news sites. Yet, they can be found, and often are all around us. If I may let me show you what I mean.

Just two months ago, on April 27th, a devastating series of tornadoes ripped through the southern part of our country, especially the state of Alabama. So many cities looked worse than many war zones. I was deployed as part of a team of chaplains from Foursquare's Disaster Relief initiative and saw the destruction firsthand. Town after town had been laid waste. We talked with person after person who either lost loved ones, their homes, or places of work. Yet, we also saw something else. People immediately responded to the incredible needs with a super human effort. Churches were transformed into emergency shelters and distribution centers. They went through the demolished neighborhoods looking for anyone who needed help and they opened their doors to all who would enter. Restoration Church in Madison is one such place. Since many of their congregation had been through a Disaster Relief Training just a few months earlier they were well prepared to respond to the need. Nearly half of their church building was turned into a relief center, providing food and supplies for anyone affected by the tornadoes. They connected people with other agencies as needed, and coordinated the arrival and work of our chaplain teams. For many years they had already been a beacon of life and hope by preaching and living out the truth and love of Jesus. Then they stood and responded to a very specific need, and in so doing they helped to bring healing to their community. They are well living out their name as restoration is coming to those they touch. They stand as true revolutionaries fighting back the darkness for many and ushering in the light of Christ, both in word and deed.

I am also reminded of one particular chaplain I had the privilege of serving alongside. Sandy is one remarkable woman. As a young teen she overcame much because of the transforming touch of Christ she encountered. Years later, after being married and preparing for a life of ministry, she and her husband Steve (also one of our amazing chaplains) became lead pastors ministering to the streets of East Nashville. Yet, what seems so remarkable to me about Sandy is how she allows nothing to hold her back from faithfully following Jesus. Not long after arriving in Madison and joining our team I learned that she was battling Leukemia, along with a number of other ailments. Even still she never let this slow her down. In spite of her sickness she brought hope and comfort to people who had seemingly lost everything, including their own family members. I briefly wondered how she was able to do this, and do it so well. As I got to know her I realized that she had simply allowed the love of Christ to completely permeate her entire being and was therefore able to live as the child of God she is. Sandy is a woman fully committed to her Savior...a revolutionary.

So many of the people that our chaplain team met in Alabama had courageously faced devastation while not allowing it to define them. Their experiences in the storm mark tremendous change in their lives but are also part of many larger stories. Lylo, is one such young man whose courageous journey began many years earlier in South Chicago. While his appearance suggested there to be a real hardness about him, nothing could be further from the truth. His harsh tattoos and piercings were simply reminders of a former life and seemed to melt away as he revealed the warmth and kindness within. After inviting me in out of the heat with a big smile, offering me a cold bottle of water, and a seat beside him on the couch he explained his encounter the day of the tornado. As with many other visits with other tornado survivors I was again amazed at what he had endured, and how God had protected him. Then he began to tell me how Christ had rescued and changed his life, not from the tornado but from a life of dealing drugs and gang-bangin' in Chicago. His life was transformed when as a teenager he took a trip to Alabama to visit his grandparents and gave his heart to Jesus. He would never be the same, and years later would move there permanently, eventually getting married, and beginning to raise a family to love the same Father God who he himself had fallen in love with. His biggest concern as we talked was not the significant, and still un-repaired, damage to his home but the desire to be sure that his children would follow in his steps, the ones marking his new life...as a revolutionary follower of Christ.

Almost everyone we spoke with somehow held on to hope, sometimes through tears, and occasionally words of frustration. They knew they would be alright, their homes and businesses could be rebuilt, and they believed their lost loved ones were with their Savior. On many occasions they brought more encouragement to us then we seemed possible of offering them. So many of them simply knew whom they were anchored in and took comfort in knowing the Lord was with them. Their changed lives and their stories serve as a call to us. While most of us won't experience or be near to the kind of destruction born by a tornado we all are familiar with how cruel and painful life can be. We all know those whom while experiencing such cruelty have not the hope of Christ. Yet, Jesus calls to us today to stand and rise above whatever would seek to pull us down, to stand against the darkness that pervades so many. Like Restoration Church, Sandy, and Lylo, He calls us to open ourselves completely to His grace and to follow in His steps. His steps are those of the great revolutionary of all time. I don't know about you but I want to do my best to walk with Him.

Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The Answer for the Ancients, and for You and Me.

2011-04-17T17:01:00.009-06:00

So often as I read my Bible I meet ancient believers who could not understand why God didn't seem to come to their aid. They cry out for His deliverance and for answers to their suffering, but often the answers seem to allude them. I wonder what some of these ancients would have thought about how God ultimately did answer their calls for help.

I wonder what they would have thought of a simple man who lived and walked among the people, a common man. I wonder what they would have thought of such a man being anointed as their saving king. I wonder what they would have thought about a savior who was able to raise the dead, but unwilling to raise a sword.

What would they have thought of this man, who instead of delivering them from their enemies gave himself up on their behalf. What would they have thought when they saw him rise up from the grave and hear him call them to lay their lives down as well. I don't know how they would have responded to Jesus doing all of this and more. But I do know what I think.

I think embracing Christ is the easiest choice I've ever made, but following in His steps is no easy road. Yet, I can think of nothing so rewarding. I wonder what you would think of such a man. I wonder if you would look anew upon Jesus Christ this Easter and see the freedom and the love He holds out for you, and embrace Him too.

Rise up; come to our help! Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!

Psalm 44:26

Coudl it Be?

2011-03-31T21:30:00.003-06:00

It is unthinkable to consider

That I could really be loved

Just for who I am

This is a love too great

Too pure

Too perfect to fathom

It escapes comprehension

And is beyond understanding

Surely only I am aware

Of the soiled and sickly

State of my heart

If the unsearchable could be revealed

If the buried could be found

From me they would run

They would know the reason that I over-eat

And why I live so anxiously

They might trace the marks of the needles

To the marks of my heart

And understand why the streets have chosen me

They would know the reason that I strive

Or the reason I keep running to hide

Laid bare would be the fear I believed

Unloved and unlovable am I

Worthy to none

And from me they would flee

Wouldn't they?

For isn't this what they would see?

So how could there be

Such a love from One who could see

And yet remain with me

Can it be that for me He longs?

To hold me, and to know me?

It cannot be, can it?

Somewhere, such a fear

Lingered too in my heart

Neither thriving nor living

And yet not dying

Until He journeyed there me

Just as He longs to do with you

Taking my hand in His

He walked with me

Through darkness and death

Over hills and mountains we climbed

Through deep valleys

And cavernous depths

Until the source of my fear He revealed

Then grasping it in His hands

Right and left, and then his feet

He showed once more

That it was already put to death for me

And then I began to see

How great and deep

How true and perfect

Is the Father's love for me

And He who does see

To the depths of my heart

Causes me to consider

That I really am loved

Just for who I am

Ephesians 3:19...to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,

that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Sometimes I Cry

2011-02-22T13:07:00.003-07:00

Sometimes I cry
When I stand before God in wonder
And think of HIs great love and grace
I see Him holy and full of splendor

I start to sing
As praise ascends to my lips
Still I see His glory and srength
But fear hides that I am His

Tho Christ I see
A shame remains deep within
Years of brokeness and stans have soiled
The fabric of my soul so thin

Then I hear Him
Still I hold you in my arms
I am here and you are mine
Rest in me, I'll shield you from harm

And so I breathe
Deeply from my heart once more
The shell around me broken again
My gaze returns heaven ward

I consider
All that Jesus Christ has done for me
All that His grace has wrought
My spirit is lifted as I bow my knee

And, sometimes I cry

"You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy."
Leviticus 19:2b ESV

Firmly Planted

2010-11-08T19:46:00.004-07:00

Jesus spoke of the sower who scattered seed while planting his field (Luke 8:9-15). He related the seed that fell on the rocks to those who believed for a moment but fell away when it became hard, and because they had no root. He eventually also said the seed planted in good soil are like those who believe God's word deeply and sincerely. Please forgive my rough paraphrase. The painful beauty of seed sown in fertile soil is the reality God prepared for every Christ following believer. His glorious purpose is to draw forth a full and vibrant life from a place of darkness and loneliness. Let me explain.

I realize that those who fall away during trial (the seed on the rock) are not the only ones who experience trial. Even those planted in good soil must hold God''s word fast. And why ever hold anything fast except that something should threaten to strip it away? I am reminded that we have been made to reproduce God's love and grace, but this only happens with patience and a complete surrender to His will. How unutterably painful it is when it seems that even in the midst of being planted in good soil we experience the loneilness of the dark and suffocating soil? How terribly confusing it is in one moment to be in the palm of the Lord's hand, and in the next to be burried deeply in the dark, cold, and wet earth. Then, as if that doesn't seem bad enough, the seemingly constant torrents of water begin coming like a daily flood. And how lonely it is to be burried there out of sight and sound of all others, or so it can seem. How awful never to feel the warmth of the sun.

Then, in a brilliant transformation roots begin to extend beyond the shell of this cracked seed and the beginning of new life slowly lifts upward. Soon air is again tasted, but not by the seed. It's breathed in deeply by the new life springing forth from the dark rich nourishing soil. The light of day is felt again, or is it for the first time? Before long this new life will grow tall and vibrant, and will itself bring forth new life.

In a moment it begins to become clear how perfectly necessary the constant torrents, the once suffocating soil, even the loneliness. All of it caused this life, caused me, to reach heavenward with a strength and desire borne by the Spirit of God alone.

As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing God's word, hold it fast, in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.

Luke 8:15 ESV

Will you hear His word today and hold it tightly, deeply, in your own honest and good heart? I pray you do.

I Stand Renewed

2010-10-06T13:19:00.007-06:00

Oh how my heart aches within
Here in silence
Great walls closing in

Constrained by fear so heavy
Darkness surrounds
The weight seems deathly

Falling beneath this pressing
I kneel once more
It won't release me

Rivers flow of untold pain
Never Ceasing
Memries pour like rain

My heart open and laid bare
A voice whispers
Glimpsing holy glare

Peace to you my son, be still
I'm with you here
To mend and to fill

Take hold of me now and trust
I won't let go
Despite fading dusk

The darkness there still remains
Absent is fear
Beauty His eyes contain

To my feet then do I rise
Taking His hand
Letting go a sigh

Strengthened by the love of Christ
I stand renewed
To carry His light

Faithful and Just

2010-10-01T22:29:00.003-06:00

Is it not just to long for the promises of the Father?

Is it not just to hope for the dreams He wrote upon my heart?

Is it not just when the Lord fulfills every word uttered by His Spirit?

I will look to you, O God, and no mere man, to see your justice done in my life.

I will seek your face, my Lord, to see your will fulfilled in my day.

Many seek the face of a ruler, but it is from the Lord that a man gets justice.

Proverbs 29:26 ESV

Believe in the NAME of Jesus Christ?

2010-09-10T21:25:00.003-06:00

What does it mean to believe in the NAME of Jesus Christ? As I sat in the still and quiet morning recently reading my Bible I began wondering this. As I considered the significance of names in Biblical culture I began to understand the importance of believing in the NAME of Jesus. A name carried far more significance in the days of Christ, and that by intention, than in our modern age. A name was meant to describe or perhaps even define a person. Yet, most people failed miserably to live up to the noble names given them. Or they seemed to succomb to the disappoinment and hurt of common, sometimes vulgar, names and lived down to them. In Jesus however we see for the first, and only, time in history someone who was not only able to live up to the full meaning of His righteous name, but lived it out so well that we could really begin to understand who He was. He was both defined by and defined His name.

Now when the name of Jesus Christ is spoken, whether in honor or dishonor, it is done so with unmistakable clarity of the person spoken about. More than this, He showed the world through His life, death, and resurrection what it meant to be God with Us, our Savior, and the Prince of Peace. Jesus allows us to see up close and with historic intimacy the heart and love of the Father for us all. So to believe in the name of Jesus Christ is to give Him your trust, to give Him your very heart, because He is trustworthy. He is faithful. Then can we also love others as His life so beautiful displayed.

1 John 3:23
And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he commanded us.

No Light Ahead?

2010-08-11T22:14:00.001-06:00

People always seem to talk about there being a light at the end of a tunnel right when you happen to be walking through a dark and challenging time. I know they only mean to bring hope. I've even spoken those words myself to try and encourage friends or loved ones from time to time. Yet, I've come to realize something that I didn't understand before. Sometimes when the road is especially hard, the pain is deep, and you can't see the way in front of you it can seem as though all light has gone out, especially at the end of the tunnel.

I used to be a person who always saw the way ahead. No matter what unexpected turn may have come my eyes remained set on the path ahead of me, the one I just knew the Lord had set my feet upon. There was just one problem. Somewhere along the journey, early on I suppose, I stopped being content with simply following the Lord's lead and began trying to forge ahead. I was certain I knew the path He was taking me on, even though I'd never been there before.

By God's kindness and grace I eventually came to realize I wasn't really following HIM all that well. What a blow it was to my pride when my eyes were opened to the truth of my limits and frailty, which I suppose was exactly the point. Then something else began to happen. The Lord didn't stop at revealing my sin of arrogance but began taking me deep into myself to reveal long hidden wounds and buried bitterness. Suddenly God wasn't talking to me about the road ahead anymore, and I had sure lost confidence in myself to see it. Instead, He was telling me to simply wait upon and to trust Him. Each time He'd reveal an old, but fresh, wound I would hear those same words again. The last thing I wanted to do was to turn and face each point of pain, but it seemed there was no moving forward through the darkness unless I did.

So, that's where I've been these days, walking through this tunnel that at times seems unbearably dark. At every bend there seems to be another reminder of past pain and regret, ones which I had unknowingly buried deep beneath the surface. As I bump into them this time around though I know I've been equipped by my Comforter to face them and receive His healing. I believe God has my way well planned out and even though I can't see where He's taking me I know He is trustworthy. Even though His road for me requires treading through dark and lonely places I will go. I'll do it because He's called me to and I know I will not be alone, whether I can see the light or not.

Deuteronomy 31:8

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Broken Me

2010-04-25T00:29:00.002-06:00

My search begins again. I thought I was already there. I thought I had already gotten beyond all of this, but here it is once more reminding me of all the pain of yesterday. I thought I had forgiven everything there was to forgive, but something still eats away inside of me. So as I have so many times before I call out to You God, asking for You to show me just what it is that keeps me where I am, unable to move past the hurt. This time though it seems a little different. Lord, You seem to be taking me deeper than I ever wanted to go, far beyond the painful goodbye to the years of excruciating silence, to the days of so much disappointment, and lives in disrepair.

I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to search this far, this deep. I just wanted the memories to be wiped away, erased. I wanted my wounds to be healed and my stains to be washed clean. But somehow I’ve never let go myself. Maybe I made myself to blame or maybe I was embittered even at such a tender age. I’m not sure it really matters now, because every wound seems to have been opened again and every mark is clear to see, at least to me. Oh God, now that it’s all so fresh I pray You would somehow work the miracle of grace anew, in me. Show me how constant, and how present you were, standing by me in every scene, holding me every time I fell.

Perhaps then I will finally stop looking, and I will finally embrace You completely as the Father You have always been.

My Unchanging God

2010-01-30T09:39:00.003-07:00

Jesus has never changed. Still today He remains unchanging. What has changed is my ability, and yours, to approach God. It is only because of what Jesus has done for you and me, what He accomplished on the cross, that we have full access to the Father. His blood spilled and His body was pierced on the cross for all to forever satisfy the law for all. We must simply come. Since that day on Calvary no sacrifice, or effort, on my part could ever bring me near to God. Jesus accomplished it all.

There is never any new way of approaching God either. Once the curtain was torn Jesus forever became the only way for all to reach God. So what does this mean for me today? What does this mean for you? Well, I know He is always trustworthy and I can and should bank my life on the words He speaks to me. It means I never have to strive to do anything to somehow try and gain His approval. Simply being His son means that I am priceless to Him and He is constantly displaying His love to me.

Being able to really trust Him also means that His promises are true for me and I can be content and wait for Him when He calls me to wait. It means that the next time He calls me to something that is far beyond me, especially that which I would otherwise not choose, I can do it with confidence anyway. It means I can also trust Him to care for those I long to help, but cannot. When we lack the strength and wisdom to help those fallen in the mire He never does. He is faithful to pull them out and bring to them the healing they need.

Indeed, though we often change He never does. Although we are prone to weakness and frailty He never is. Although we may lose hope and begin to lack faith He never does. Jesus Christ is the unchanging God. We can always depend on Him and always go to Him. He will always receive us and always be exactly what we need.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

Hebrews 13:8

Robert's Gift

2010-01-23T08:27:00.006-07:00

"I want to know Christ, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becomming like him in his death." ~ Philippians 3:10

I remember meeting a man by the name of Robert the other day. I recalled our meeting as I read my Bible recently because as we parted he asked me about my favorite verse which I happened to later read. Usually, I don't enter into conversations when approached by able bodied men, like Robert, who are asking for money (which probably speaks more to my insecurity than anything else). However, Robert was different. He bore a sincere smile on his face and seemed awfuly full of joy.

As he came closer to my car I could see by the container he held that he was apparently not asking anything for himself. It held a picture of some children who Robert described as "at-risk youth" who were headed for the streets, the same place he'd come from. The eldest among them couldn't have been more than 11 or 12. Robert also spoke of his faith in Jesus Christ and mentioned a few Biblical passages about caring for those in need, which were not simply rifled out but spoken as if truly believed.

I don't know whether Robert's entire approach was a part of a facade or not. It is certainly possible that everything from his appearance, the picture, his words, and even his smile were all fabricated. However, I doubt this very much and I have a feeling that instead Robert was a man on a mission. When our conversation was drawing to a close and I was asked of my favorite verse I spoke of Paul's words to the Philippian church. Robert seemed to connect with them.

As I later considered his words, demeanor, and apparent selflessness I began to realize that he too is a man intent on knowing Christ, and the power of his resurrection. It is the power to overcome even death and hell, and as I'm sure Robert would testify, it is the power to break the hold that the streets can have on so many, even children. I think rather than being fooled by him I was given a gift. He vividly portrayed to me the same verse I shared with him. So, wherever you are Robert, I thank you and I pray for safety and the life that flows from Christ's resurrection for you and the children you aim to help.

Running Rebel

2010-01-16T07:55:00.006-07:00

There are times, so many times, that I am overwhelmed by desire to run my race and be free from self and sin. I long to sit at Your side and write to You a song so beautiful. But it seems every time I set out I quickly wear out. When discouragement has set in and taken its toll my feet seem to shrink beneath me. The moment I set pen to page, even with Your hand embracing me, the ink dries up and the words just disappear.

Lord, train me to run well without growing weak and breaking down. May Your words be in me and me and may their flow be free. I know You've set my feet to run and my lips to speak Your love. Yet it always feels like I've finished before I've begun. I want to speak of You but so often remain disappointed by the setting sun. Overtake me Lord, train me to run. Open my ears that I might truly hear.

"But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Be not rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you."

Ezekiel 2:8

Ask in His name

2009-12-24T09:02:00.003-07:00

"Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." -John 16:24

These were the words I heard the Lord quietly speak to my spirit as I read His word this morning. It seemed strange to me that on the eve of Christmas I would be encouraged to ask something of Him rather than being encouraged to give. Somehow it didn't seem quite right that I should be asking for anything when He came to give everything. Then, it occurred to me that perhaps it's not all that strange that Jesus continues to desire to give of Himself, indeed He never ceases to give.

So, I thought about what I really need. With all the change my family and I have experienced over this past year I've often felt exhausted and the ability to really give from my heart, the way Jesus always did, seems to be lying dormant. That's when I realized why the Lord chose this morning, in this season, to encourage me to ask of Him. I think that what I need most right now is a renewed ability to selflessly love again. I'm tired of feeling as though I have nothing to offer others. I know this hasn't at all been true, but the exhaustion of this past extended season has taken its toll.

I've happened to watch the movie, "The Grinch" with my family several times over the past week or so, and I couldn't help thinking about a particular scene. It's near the end of the movie when the Grinch finally learns what Christmas is really about and his heart grows three sizes. This is what I desire, to have my own capacity to love others expanded far beyond what I've known before. This is what I asked of the Lord.

If the Lord were to invite you to ask something new of Him today how might you reply?

Words of Life

2009-10-19T14:11:00.004-06:00

Pure words are very rarely heard among the people of this world. Even while a well intended and meaning person may attempt to speak with complete truth and honesty the ability to really do so is fleeting. It is not for lack of effort or desire that this challenge exists. So many of us really want to be completely transparent, honest, and loving with one another, and at times we are. Most often I fear there remains, however small and minute, a measure perhaps of pride or insecurity, or maybe anxiety, or even selfishness. I know at least this has been true of me, but I do not think this to be an uncommon reality. Even the great writers of the Bible spoke of the need of being refined. They recognized that they were not unlike jewels and precious metals concerning purity. They often used the image of a metal worker refining silver to describe their (and our) need for refinement.

In our world today, a premium is paid for drinking water that has been purified. It is water that has gone through intricate and thorough filtration processes, sometimes repeatedly, all in an effort to extract the smallest germ, bacteria, or particle so that the water can be considered pure. These are those which mostly can only be seen through the lenses of a microscope. Yet, if they can be found, even in the smallest of numbers, the water cannot be labeled as pure. Our words are like that. They often contain ill feelings and thoughts that are veiled by the sounds actually formed by our mouths. Oh, we don't intend for this to be how it is with one another, but we cannot help what is really felt deep down, which is the reason that we so desperately need the Refiner's touch. And isn't that interesting? This Refiner of people, the One who takes us as we are and cleanses us, bringing His skilled and gentle strengthening touch is also the One well accustomed with purity.

I love the way David writes about this in the twelfth Psalm. In verse six he writes, “The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.” While true purity of speech ever remains a challenge for people, well intended as we may be, it has never been a challenge for Jesus. His words are life giving, rich and abounding with blessing. They are filled with hope and peace. Reassurance and rest are found in them. Truth and honesty are at their core where love also abounds. They flow from His lips more pure than the highest mountain stream. There is no guile, no deceit, no insecurity or anxiety in them. They contain no pretense, no false humility, no pride or arrogance, no lie is found in them whatsoever. Evil and wickedness, all that defiles, anything untoward could never enter into His speech.

It is for the Lord's efforts alone that pure speech can be found at all, sometimes through the voices of believers, but always by His Spirit. May we cling to the words He's spoken to us, centuries ago, which saints long ago captured and wrote upon scrolls of parchment. May we embrace the words His Spirit speaks to our souls still today and may our ears ever be open to Him. And may we allow our own mouths and tongues be instruments for His pure words to flow to one another.

The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.

Psalm 12:6

A Season of Change

2009-09-12T09:11:00.006-06:00

I listened to the minister speak of a preferred future verses God's promised future as I drove through Merced, CA the other day and I could most definitely relate. He talked about a number of major transitions in his own life, and others' lives, in which there was always a preferred future that he expected to unfold. This was an attempt at a picture and a plan to get to the place the Lord had some time earlier spoken of concerning him. However, the Lord had other ideas in mind, another plan to unfold that was necessary in order to bring him into the future He had promised rather than the one the minister preferred. He found that when he waited for the Lord to lead him through the change instead of pressing ahead with his own plans he experienced something far better, far more grace-filled, and blessed than anything he could have devised.

This morning I consider the past 11 years of my life with a different perspective than I had just 1 year ago. There have been many many changes my family and I have walked through which no doubt would have gone without God's blessing (there is a difference between provision and blessing) had we not waited upon Him. I quickly remember praying for the Lord to bring me companionship, but not just that, a bride who would honor Him first of all and would together walk with me alongside Jesus. The Lord completely blew me away when He blessed me with Charis' hand (8 years now). He promised with each of our children that He would teach me how to love them as they needed, to be the father He desired me to be. Then, there were jobs the Lord brought my way, each one I hardly felt qualified to hold. There have been very meaningful, sometimes tender, conversations which required special care and attention. All of these required in one way or another me to wait upon the Lord, sometimes just for the sake of timing, but often because of what He was doing behind the scenes. Although I believe I've understood this value of waiting upon Him I now have new appreciation for it as we seem to be experiencing it in an entirely different dimension.

It was nearly a year ago when the Lord first spoke to Charis and I about moving away from Utah and into California to connect with another church family. I immediately recognized I would need a new job, my daughter a new school, and something that has proved to be the hardest part of all. We would be leaving the most precious church family we'd ever known. Some of the dearest people in the world to us, and closest friends, would of course remain there while we set out for some place unknown to us then. Yet, we knew with certainty what the Lord had spoken, so unmistakable was His message to us. We began to prepare ourselves as well as we could for the eventual transition. However it would be about another 3 months before we were sure of the place God was leading us. In January we drove out to Bakersfield, CA, as it seemed this was where He had in mind for us. By the time we left there, after attending several services and spending time with some of the folks from this new church, we knew this place would eventually be our new home.

It was both a great relief to actually know where we'd be moving to as well as a deep sadness because it represented a further assurance that we would indeed be leaving the place we had called home for so long. For whatever reason I had expected everything to move very quickly after that visit. However, it felt like anything but quick. First, we tried selling our house on our own. After 3 months of trying this, and without anyone coming to see it, we finally decided to call our friend Mitch, and have it listed. After about 2 months, and 6 or 7 showings, we finally had an agreed upon offer.

Still, there was still the matter of finding a job. I had done numerous job searches but could find very little in or near Bakersfield, in my line of work. Somewhere around March a couple of folks talked to me about the possibility of working from home and with 1 of the businesses who are a part of the organization I supported. This sounded like a great idea and after talking it over with my wife, and praying about it, I told them I'd be interested if such a possibility presented itself. Well, it would be about 3-4 months before there was anything concrete. In the meantime I had taken a voluntary demotion so that my replacement could be trained. Then, as we approached our closing date on the sale of our home the job finally came through. Whew, talk about last minute!

When the dust finally settled (for the most part) we had landed in Merced (about 2.5 hours north of Bakersfield) so that we could be near to some very close family here while we began looking for homes down the road. We had determined several weeks earlier that we would home-school our little girl for now and through the moving out/in process we crazily figured it was the right time to start. There were definitely a few bumps early on, but we felt this was the route the Lord wanted us to take for her schooling, at least for now, so we persisted. Thankfully, a few weeks into Charis and Caitrin have begun to hit a groove.

Some of our dust will continue settling for sometime now I'm sure, especially considering we haven't made it all the way to Bakersfield just yet. However, the Lord has been abundantly gracious to us. Even in the midst of all this change, our lives truly feeling uprooted, He has continued to work things out for us in such a way that has become increasingly clear that our waiting upon Him has been very important. Early on in this process He spoke to me a passage from Psalm 37. He told me to "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him". I continued to speak this to me throughout the entire process, and each time there was a sense that He wanted to do something within me.

So, while I couldn't control the pour housing market, the lack of jobs, or simply the difficult timing of it all I could do one thing. I could repeatedly yield myself to His plans and his timing. This I've chosen to do and will continue to. While He's worked out some very cool things for us in terms of practical needs, the most valuable things have been the changes I've sensed within. This has also been some of the hardest change, as it's required the depleting of my pride and selfishness and stretch my faith, and then stretched it some more.

Still, I will continue to be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. For, as the minister spoke of a preferred future verses God's promised future while I drove through Merced I knew exactly what He was talking about.

He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,

your vindication like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord,

and wait patiently for him

Psalm 37:6-7a

Two Shepherds

2009-08-29T15:38:00.002-06:00

For six weeks I watched a beautiful transformation take place and the Lord allowed me a place of honor, up close, taking it all in. No picture captures it more perfectly than one particular scene from Pastor Mark and Cheryl’s sending off party.

Much of the evening had been spent honoring the two of them, but this one portion epitomizes both Pastor Mark’s and Pastor Robert’s heart. They were both welcomed up front, fittingly to the altar, along with our longest active member and a very dear friend, Ginny Dominquez. She first stood before Mark, with a shepherd’s staff in her hands, a symbol of how faithful, tenderly, and lovingly he had served this family of believers for 15 years. She spoke to him about the way he’d lived out these virtues before us and how thankful we’ve been for his care. The staff was then extended to him and embraced before being offered back to Ginny and then transferred to Robert. Words of welcome, holy expectation, and trust were offered to him, believing God had brought about this change, this transition of shepherds over a flock. Robert then also embraced the staff and humbly accepted the responsibility. Tears were in his eyes and gratitude was on his lips for Mark, who’d walked so close beside him these last six weeks, and for the Lord’s call and for the family welcoming.

It was simply the most beautiful and emotional transfer of leadership I’ve ever witnessed, rote with care and concern for one another, mutual respect and true brotherhood. Yet, it was not a scene which unfolded in that moment alone. For those six weeks (the first two of these occurring before either of them knew what would transpire) I watched and walked near them. There were many early morning meetings, at Starbucks of course, which really centered in their heart-filled exchange about our church family, listening together to what the Lord was saying. There was perhaps the most wonderful family camp we’ve ever held. At one point Mark and Cheryl were prayed for by the entire church (a moment I sadly missed). There were times of concerned conversations for each other and those they had been called to care for. I watched as they both served each other in prayer, counsel, and even in work. All along they were of one heart, mind, and spirit.

They walked together so well through this transition, as dual shepherds of a single flock because God had graced them and because they were both set upon loving God with all they had and loving others well. Yes indeed, I had a very privileged place of honor near them both as they walked along. However, it was not my privilege alone. This journey, taken by two shepherds was not done in private, as though isolated from those they cared for. It was walked out in front them, lived out free of pride or shame, or any other ill thing. It was walked out openly because it was ordained of the Lord, and those of us a part of this church family can all attest to the privilege of witnessing the beauty of their six week journey together. Thank you Pastors Mark and Robert for giving us such an example.

Soul Revolution

2009-07-13T17:39:00.004-06:00

"For to me to live is Christ, to die is gain"
-Apostle Paul

While this is a truly revolutionary thought I've read these words many many times, yet today they are illuminated in my soul with the light of Holy Spirit revelation, like a torch burning in a dark night. To read this chapter (Philippians 1) quickly might likely cause some to think of Paul as a braggart. He seems full of himself if you don't listen closely. On the other hand, when you take your time and allow God to lead you, even quietly whispering to you as you read, you instead find something else all together. Paul speaks to those people, the Church at Philippi, with a deep and profound love and from a heart of compassion for them. He writes to them with concern, as they are beginning to endure persecution for believing.

Paul knew a little something about persecution. Since turning Christ and choosing to serve him he endured nearly constant suffering. So he begins to share with them what he's learned. I don't believe his intent is to speak of how great he is either. On several occasions he freely speak of his own weaknesses and inability to follow Christ as well as he would like (in others of his letters). Furthermore, he writes this letter as a prisoner of Rome. No, he is most certainly not writing as an arrogant and proud man. He is purposing to show them how to endure their challenges with victory and peace.

And so we come back to this statement, "For to me to live is Christ, to die is gain." In other words, "Friends, it is of no concern whatsoever to me what happens to this physical body. My life is not mine anyway. It has been given to Christ and so if I go on living it is really Him living through me. If I do not, well this I am also unafraid of, in fact I embrace this because it means I will be home with my Daddy, my Abba, my Savior, and those friends and believers who before me. I will be before the throne of the King of all creation." Sure, that's a lot to infer from this one statement, however I really do believe this is the thrust of the overall passage. And as I considered these ideas underlying the message Paul was communicating to these beloved friends that's when I was struck with a deep sense of awe as well as conviction.

As a I said before I believe Paul was writing to honor and glorify God rather than anything in himself. Yet, when I attempted to apply them to my own life they didn't seem to fit. I am far too often moved by fear. There remains too much in the way of pride in me. While others may not see it I know it's there for I can sense it and feel it. Quite simply there remains too much of self in me to write the kinds of words Paul wrote with any honesty or sincerity. Still, that is exactly what I desire, to be able to declare to those in desperation, those in need, those longing for answers from God, that "I too have struggled and endured hardship but not lost hope because my life is bound to Christ. If I live on, whether in hardship or comfort, it is "Christ who lives in me. And if I die whether in the midst of trial or beyond it will be of great gain to me."

Oh Lord, I pray You so transform my life that if I were to say the kinds of things Paul declared they would not only be true but would minister to and encourage others the same way You have encouraged and challenged me today through the words of Your servant Paul. In Jesus name I pray...Amen.

Turning Again

2009-07-02T10:09:00.007-06:00

Why can't I seem to keep from planning my own way?
The Lord says to keep going straight, or maybe just to wait,
but I still seem to drift and wander astray.

There's a pride that dwells inside me
from which I can't seem to escape
It speaks so subtly but grips me just the same

Deliver me from the enemy I can never see
the one that never seems to leave
Set me free from the binding cords of self oh God

Now with eyes set upon glory so true
My ears bent toward the clear call of grace
Now will I turn and run again after You

Simple Profound Love

2009-06-27T16:50:00.002-06:00

I heard these words today as I attended the Men's IGNITE conference in Layton, Utah. They were words spoken to a man who was in desperate need of a word from His heavenly Daddy. He'd gone away for a weekend in search of solitude, but more importantly a profound sense of a personal word of God to Him. Instead, what He heard the Lord speak was so basic and simple that he felt tempted to dismiss it, or put his own spin on it. Thankfully he did not, and as he began to share it with others he realized it was a simple AND profound message which the Lord wants many to hear. For some it comes as a much needed reminder of how God truly feels about and cares for us. For others it may be the most revolutionary idea they've never before heard, but always needed to receive.

These words truly ministered to me today and I pray they do you as well.

I love you ____(insert your name here).

My plans are good.

Stay close to me.

~Vince D'Acchioli

Chasing Trust

2009-05-02T08:59:00.013-06:00

I love my dog. His name is Chase and he's a half-yellow lab, half pit bull, mix who's as energetic and loving as any dog I've ever seen. Although I would never trade him for any other four footed beast some of his habits can really gnaw on me. One of these is his unbending propensity to search out every last stray stick, or simply low hanging branch, in the back yard and upon finding the softest thickest part of the lawn to lay down and proceed to shred them to pieces. After he's through I've got the perfect place for yet another fire pit (okay, so perhaps I'm exaggerating a little, but not much).

Somehow though, this tale wagging friend of mine taught me a very valuable lesson while in the midst of one of his lumber consuming tirades. You see I had been struggling off and on for at least weeks with trusting God to accomplish something He'd spoken to me. I never questioned the content of His direction to me, or even the reasons, simply the timing. As it turns out the timing isn't that simple after all. I'd felt fairly certain about the time frame I thought things would be worked out in. Yet, the date on the calendar has steadily approached with no sign of the change I've been awaiting. All along I've heard the Lord whispering to me to remain patient and to continue trusting Him.

Still the effort to "help God out" with the details has seemed truly necessary at times. Of course it really wasn't, but hadn't I patiently waited the prescribed time already? I mean really, I've watched those calendar pages change a few too many times already. So clearly it's time for action. The more focused I became on the specific time frame of this thing being accomplished the more my peace and joy were stripped from me just like the shreds of bark in Chase's teeth. I really do think it was about the time I saw him doing this one afternoon and it was as if God whispered to me, "You haven't really been trusting me at all, have you? The more anxious you've become the more you've allowed yourself to be chewed on and your peace is devoured. No, you need to be like one of those trees back there. They're firmly rooted and their branches extend covering nearly your entire yard. But they didn't start that way did they. It took time. Trust me."

I don't know about you but I don't want to live in a way that finds me constantly chasing the ideal of trust. I would much rather live in trust of Him who is utterly and completely trustworthy.

Have you been living day to day with peace, or is anxiety more prevalent? Would you prefer to be like the sticks in my backyard sought by my dog, or would you rather by like the trees firmly rooted and flourishing? Truly trusting Jesus, daily and with everything, can alone bring you the peace your soul needs.

Waiting at the Bus Stop

2009-04-15T19:33:00.002-06:00

Do you ever feel as though a particular situation in life has you waiting at a bus stop? You know the route you need to take to make it where you're going, as well as the bus number. You may have even had the route verified by a veteran of the city bus system, a seasoned bus-riding pro if you will. Maybe you've even gone straight to the source and gotten your route mapped out from the Real Bus Authority at the downtown office. Yet, still you find yourself sitting there waiting for the bus to arrive.

While it's true that the bus you're waiting for operates on a very specific schedule, it just may have had to take a construction detour, gotten a flat tire, or any number of other possibilities which only causes the delay you are now forced to deal with. Well, this bus stop is exactly where I seem to find myself today. I know where it is I need to go and perhaps even how to get there and I think I know when my bus is supposed to arrive. The problem is that as the scheduled arrival time seems to be approaching I still don't recognize any sign of my bus...And, well, you see, my bus stop is near the end of a long road which means I ought to be able to see it coming from a ways away. Yet, still I wait.

The waiting wouldn't be quite so bad if that old bus riding veteran were waiting with me. I'm sure he'd be able to provide some reassurance about the bus, or maybe he knows why it so long in coming. Unfortunately though, he seems to have caught an earlier bus this time around and so I must wait alone...or at least it seems. Of course I know the Great Bus Driver above is near enough to see me and hear me, but I sometimes struggle to do the same.

...At least that's how it feels right now.

Should we live united?

2009-03-31T18:29:00.004-06:00

A particular commercial has been frequenting my television of late. The message is one which I think appeals to many people and calls them to "live united". It draws upon that part of every person that truly wants to help others. However, the simple phrase repeatedly employed caused me to pause and think about how united I really should be with others. To be fair I have no problem with the motivation in mind for the owner of the ad. I simply think that unity is one of those ideals that requires caution.

As a Christian believer I definitely would not want to unite with a group of people who hated Jesus. The question here is not whether I should love them, of course I should. Instead should I be so joined with them that I think, believe, and even live as they do? Obviously, to do so would cause me to abandon what I believe and who I live for. However, to be united with others for the wrong sort of cause would call for this very decision.

Oftentimes the values of a group of people are not perfectly clear. While they may seem to embrace worthy ideals there can be very hurtful motives behind them. It is therefore of tremendous importance to truly know who and what it is you are uniting with.

If it's your desire to follow Christ, as it is mine, then let me encourage you to exercise great caution with what you choose to embrace. Ultimately, if it does not bring Jesus honor then the question of unity should be no question at all.

The Love of the Father

2009-03-27T10:44:00.011-06:00

Every now and then I hear a song on the radio that somehow says exactly the message that is somewhere inside me. It's not necessarily one that's been carefully prepared for any particular person, but it dwells there just the same. Though I may not always be actively thinking of it, the thoughts and feelings remain. They rest there like an underground aquafur waiting only to be drawn out by some thirsty hands by way of a well and the working of a pump. This seems to be happening to me lately nearly every time I hear the song "Finally Home", by Mercy Me. I've now heard it enough times so that the first few strums have barely struck the guitar before I feel as though I'm the one primed. Then, as the first several lyrics land upon my ears I'm quickly reminded of a desire I believe God has placed deep within me.

The song begins, "I’m gonna wrap my arms around my daddy’s neck and tell him that i’ve missed him and tell him all about the man that i became and hope that it pleased him." As I heard this the other day I was struck by the depth of this message and surprised by how it affected me. I began to think of how greatly I long to stare into the face of my Heavenly Daddy and indeed do the very things the song spoke of. The song continued to play and draw out the reason for this longing. Having been made in the image of God and being called by Him as his son (thanks to Jesus) this longing is something which He's placed within me, and I believe all of His believers, to ever draw us toward Him. However, I realized there was more behind this longing for me. Much of it has to do, I think, with the desire I've had since I was a small boy to please my dad and to be close to him, however never really being able to achieve this. We both have blame to share for this failure and I love him dearly, yet somehow my unfullfilled longing as a little boy remains. I thank God that He has throughout His word shown me many times over that He desires to fulfill every desire deposited in me by His hand. So, I've learned to look to Him as my true Father in Heaven, the One I am really made to glorify, to bring honor to...to please.

Still, the song played on while these things were going through my mind and then others also entered my thoughts. I considered the fact that many people, even believers, have a terribly challenging time relating to God as a loving and caring father. For them it may not be so simple a matter of not having the relationship with their dads which they desired and needed. Instead, they may have been terribly hurt, abused, or even betrayed by the very person who is supposed to be their greatest earthly source of strength, defense, provision, and shelter. How in the world is such a person supposed to then be able to look upon God as a father? For to do so evokes feelings of great pain and conjures images which should never have to be etched in one's memory to begin with. For them, the idea of a Heavenly Father is a truly terrible thought inflicting a new wound every time it's considered. Even if they know and believe the truth in God's word about Him feelings of Him being the opposite may seem inescapable.

If any of you reading this feel that such a description could be yours may I offer that such pain and brutal memories are not lost upon the Lord. He too is deeply wounded by the things you've had to endure and indeed wants to bring you healing. I would not attempt to try and offer any explanation or reason for the pain which you've walked with for so long. The best I can personally offer is my own experience to you. Somehow, God overcome the hurt and pain that had gripped my own life and revealed Himself to me as the loving and caring Father He had always been, but which I had not before recognized.

Dear Friends, in spite of the hurt and pain which you may have known God wants you to know how desperately in love with you He really is. While others have inflicted wounds within you, even broken sacred trusts, He never will. He truly wants to embrace you as His own, and offer you His strength and defense, His provision and shelter. His desire for you is so great that He even gave His own life to prove it.

As this entry ends let me encourage you to consider these words of Moses to the Israelites as words meant for you...

The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you as he did in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way until you reached this place. ~ Deuteronomy 1:29b-31

Too Focused?...On Me?

2009-03-07T09:32:00.003-07:00

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.
Acts 20:24

I have often considered, meditated upon, and even quoted verses such as these wanting them to be true of me. In some ways there may be indications of such selflessness and true Christ-centered and focused living in me, but not to the extent that I could speak these words of Paul as though my own. All too often I can find myself sitting beside, or standing near, a person who may be in need of Jesus. Who isn’t? Then, the Lord whispers to me to at least pause from whatever I’m doing. When this happens I know what’s about to come next.

“Tell them, such and such”.
“Are you sure you don’t just want me to pray for them Lord? Because that I can do, no problem.”

Then, before I know it the moment is gone. This happened, I fear, just yesterday evening. I was waiting at the airport for my flight arrive and reading an excellent book about God’s desire for the Jewish people when the Lord told me to put it down for a moment and being praying for the person seated next to me. So, I figured that was easy enough, and began to do just that. I was expecting the Lord to then give me some further direction, but it never happened. I prayed for about a minute and then figured it was time to read again, it is a really good book after all. Oh, I did pause again later to chat with him about the boarding delays of our flights, but I knew it was not the conversation we were supposed to have.

It’s situations like this that occur more often than I’d like to admit which cause me to realize I am still far too me-focused. I worry too much about having exactly the right words or what the other person may think of me. I suppose the same thing could be true of the person who doesn’t have such inhibition but may instead be somewhat impressed by their own words. However, that’s not usually my challenge. No, I’m typically too conscious of how I might be perceived and before I know it another opportunity to glorify Jesus and help another person consider Him is gone. Clearly, I cannot proclaim Paul’s words as my own, but one day I hope to, or at least be able to say something similar and it be true of me.

Oh lord, forgive me for being so concerned with me. It seems the destruction of selfish tendencies is an ever continuing challenge. I truly want to be a man given over to Your plans and purposes so that You could somehow be honored by the way I live and speak. All too often it seems I fall short of this goal, but I continue on toward it anyway. I pray that You would continue to shape me, day by day. May You be glorified in me Jesus. Amen.

The Hard Reality of Change

2009-02-13T08:47:00.008-07:00

This I have observed in my very near to be 30 years of life, change is inevitable. Some changes we may hope for and expectantly await upon for many years. We look forward to them and upon their arrival we can be quite eager to embrace them. They may come in the form of the fulfillment of long awaited desires, the holding of a longed for loved one, or the freeing from an unwanted sickness or burden. Oh how we can be lifted from many nights, or even years, of searching on our knees for answers to our longings when the season of hoped for change arrives.

However, some changes we do not look forward to. We would more readily run from them rather than to them. To reject them would make infinitely more sense to us than to hold our arms open to them. Still, while we may never offer to hold them close we often are not given the opportunity to resist them either. Instead of being freed from a burden or sickness perhaps it seems more likely that one has fallen upon us. Instead of the embrace of a loved one there may be the bitterest of distance. Or, instead of the fulfillment of our desires perhaps we might hear the sound of a suddenly closed door.

It's likely that both kinds of change resonate within us. We have experienced them both, and have had enough taste of the latter that we quickly recognize we do not want to endure such kinds of transitions. Yet, the reality is that we likely will. The question for those of us navigating this harsh terrain both now and in those undesired seasons to come is how. How will we traverse the road that seems forced upon us? Or, better yet, with whom will we travel?

Sometimes it can seem that no one could understand the pain of our experiences or the difficulty we face. We may suffer from confusion or even resentment as we struggle to understand why our struggle has come and why it persists. This seems to be especially true when the change is one that feels as though it will alter your whole life. I have felt this, and at times even in the season I currently live. When I do I question what the Lord has in store, why His goodness may seem so long in coming, or why I am even made to endure the challenge at all. It's not been my intent to be irreverent toward Him, simply an honest wondering and an attempt to understand what He is working for me.

As I read my Bible this morning I was confronted with two very difficult changes felt by two individuals with two very different responses. I saw how Moses struggled to understand how God could call him to lead his people out of captivity and yet his efforts to do so only resulted in making conditions for them worse. I also saw Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane as he suffered with the reality that He soon would give His life for all mankind and He knew it would be brutal to His body as well as His soul. Moses painfully questioned how God could allow his people to suffer more after he had done what the Lord directed him to do. Jesus, desired not to endure his pain and suffering but willingly offered to do just what God the Father had ordained. In both circumstances God was eventually and supremely glorified. Most of us can more closely relate to the response of Moses. However, only in Jesus do we have someone who has known our every challenge, and through His cross not only relates to the very pain we feel day to day or year to year, but also wants to lead us through it.

While there may be those that we can look to for support and encouragement in our challenging times, especially through change Jesus is truly the only one with the ability to lead us through. May we then look to Him, and if we must wait upon Him to move the mountain before us let us wait upon Him indeed for it is that very mountain He longs to move for you and I.

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

Luke 22:42

Saltwater For Her Soul

2009-01-27T18:55:00.009-07:00

I was only 8 years old when I began to recognize a transformation occurring within my grandmother. She had developed a very serious case of lung cancer, along with other complicating conditions. I remember rather vividly some weekend trips to the Oregon Coast with my beloved grandparents the last 2 summers she was alive. As she would muse of her desire to walk along the beach and allow the embrace of soothing ocean waves to reach her the mind of my gigantic, yet utterly gentle grandpa was already at work. To the mind of a little boy my grandma would explain how the saltwater helped to sooth her feet and truly made her feel well.

All of this was more than enough for me to decide that we certainly should go. I loved the beach already, and if it was going to make my grandma well then there couldn't possibly be anything further to figure out except what to take along. Before I knew it we seemed to have crested the hill as we traveled along the hi-way and the ocean was in sight. Yet, well ahead of any ocean wave there seemed to be a surge of peace and healing that overcame my grandma. I was certainly excited for her to be done with all of this cancer business and for those rude sores to remove their grip from her body. My grandparents would take what must have been incredibly relaxing strolls as the edge of the waves would slide smoothly across their feet, back and forth. Of course, I couldn't notice the rapidness of her healing that simply must have been taking place with all of that ocean saltwater because I was too busy challenging waves twice my height. Nevertheless, I was thrilled to know that she would soon be well and was therefore content to watch them walk along as I fought to my heart's content.

I've thought about those days and memories many many times these last 20 years or so. Most recently I thought of them as I jogged along a beach alone enjoying the same gentle embrace of the ocean my grandma had once known. Her own fight with cancer ended when I was just 9, and she only 63. I still remember the scene in our living room as my mom got off the phone and delivered the terribly dreadful news to us kids. I was truly heart-broken. It just didn't seem to be real, but before long it sunk in. In spite of her passing so many years ago it was just this week as I was enjoying that jog when I finally realized the saltwater healing she spoke of. As they both walked along in the sand and the water there was a peace of such depth that must have been instilled in the well of her soul. I believe the several trips she would make there as she attempted to fight off her enemy was for the healing she desired inside. Ultimately I believe the Lord was meeting her again in those times and places and preparing a healing for her far greater than she could have ever known as long as she lived here.

She never intended the saltwater to be for her hands and feet, but for her soul. I thank my God that He used something so basic as water, sodium, and sand to bring her restoration and the healing she truly needed.

Psalm 23:1-3a

The Lord is my shepherd, and I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul.

Whatever the dark valley you or your loved one may find yourself in may you allow the Lord to lead you beside still waters and restore your soul.

Chasing Barry Sanders

2009-01-25T09:16:00.008-07:00

A funny thing happened on the way to the grocery store yesterday. As I was driving down the hi-way with my wife and kids, we spotted what appeared to be a little puppy running this way and that, in the middle of the road, oblivious of the 50 mph traffic. As an animal lover in the first degree, I could not allow this emergency to go by without responding. So, with a fortuitous break in the traffic, I made a u-turn, pulled into the shoulder, and began my best impersonation of Pavlov... unfortunately, I had with me neither dogfood or bell.

I was able to coax the little dude (of course, it could have been a female, but aren't all dogs really boys?) within arms reach several times as I improvised (not having any dogfood) with a ripped plastic bag and a rock... his vision must not have been up to the usual standards. But, I digress. As he came near I attempted to coral the little fella but each time he escaped my grasp. This resulted in a harried chase down the side of the hi-way, sidewalk, and side streets which seemed necessary as he consistently would have gone back into traffic if not for "shewing". Eventually the chase concluded under the carport of an apartment complex parking lot, about a 1/2 mile from the original scene.

My wife even assisted in my attempt to liberate this sopping wet, grimmy, ball of a dog from apparent danger... but to no avail. When we had him nearly detained, he became increasingly irritated (clearly he didn't understand that our desire was to keep him from harm by not allowing him to go where he'd like - especially when that would most possibly mean beneath the wheels of a 1-2 speeding mass).

Dejected at my failure to help this dog, and finally gasping for breath, I succombed to the realization that little "Barry Sanders", as my wife and I decided to name him, would not be rescued. As I returned to our vehicle and settled my distraught little girl in the back seat, my beloved wife turned to me and simply said "you can't help him if he doesn't want to be helped". Of course, she was absolutely right, but that reality will not prevent me from chasing other "Barry Sanders" wherever they might be. For, it is my duty, it is my call and yours, to venture wherever we must to help those scared, lonely, cold and wet balls of fur created by God.

A Simple Question

2009-01-14T09:16:00.009-07:00

I was asked a very simple but meaningful question the other day. From one pastor to another I was essentially asked what kind of ministry I was most passionate about. I was then surprised by the difficulty I experienced in actually phrasing and providing a response to this question. I told this pastor that I don't feel particularly compelled to minister to one particular group of people over any other, and that generally I simply desire to see all kinds of people coming to know Jesus, discovering that God has gifted them to minister, and then seeing them equipped to carry out that ministry, whatever it may be. I suppose those in church circles might call this evangelism and discipleship. While that probably is an accurate description I think something can get lost in the translation of these words as they are so often used. I prefer to think of it as a relationship and a journey. Yeah...that's what gets me excited, helping people truly connect with Jesus and then embrace the journey He has uniquely designed for them which is to be embarked upon right beside Him.

Still, even as this is basically what I was saying I'm afraid it doesn't say a great deal about what actually stirs me. There are a multitude of ways that a person could be used of the Lord to help others come to know Him and then find and embrace their own ministry. Basically, what I said is that I think the Great Commission (basically..."Go to everyone and help them come to know and love God and others") Jesus gave to all believers is good and I agree with it. I might as well have grunted like a caveman uttering God good...people need God. That is to say I probably didn't offer the kind of response that was really sought. It's not as though I haven't thought through this before, but I suppose it had been a while since someone had asked me that kind of a question. So...here is another attempt to answer it with a little more practical detail.

Ever since it seemed I had a desire to minister to other people I've had a passion for preaching. I remember reading the book of Jeremiah on one occasion and he spoke of the Lord's message being like a fire that was shut up in his bones if He didn't deliver it to the people. I've often felt something that perhaps approaches such a description. When I've stumbled upon something in scripture that seems to me vitally important for others to hear and understand it's difficult to contain the words and emotion that well inside of me. However, my usual audience is a mountain filled sky, a field of sage brush, and the occasional Magpie or Robin. When I have opportunity to deliver such a message to others I feel like Eric Liddell (Chariots of Fire) who said "when I run, I feel His (God) pleasure." Of course the preparation that can go into a message can be nerve wracking at times, just as my ever patient and beloved wife has often seen...And nothing I'm writing here should have any reflection upon the actual quality of my preaching. :)

I also have a similar passion for writing. This is something I've only discovered within the last 5 years or so. I suppose it comes from a desire to first communicate with the Lord the thoughts and feelings that if not written can become like building pressure, perhaps not unlike the arising of steam within a pot. It's my hope that the things I write and share with others might just serve to encourage them a little more in their journeys with Christ.

Finally, I love having opportunities to sit with another person, sharing a cup of coffee, and listening to their stories. If there is something for me to offer in the way of encouragement or exhortation through the emptying of a cup or two then I feel blessed. Yet, whether or not I have anything to offer it seems to me that people always have a need of really being heard. I don't think we do this enough for one another. So many times we are too focused on our own concerns that we don't take the time to simply be available to others. And although this is something I enjoy doing I know I don't do it enough either. Still, it is something I treasure and hopefully after that cup has dried my friends find themselves feeling filled up and their load lightened.

There...those are the things that stir my passion as a minister of Christ. I suppose this exercise is far more helpful to me than anyone else who might happen to read this, but it is important to know how God has wired us to serve Him and others. And that may just be the point for you as well. For if you love Jesus as I do and you desire to walk with Him then be assured He has anointed you a minister of His gospel. His Great Commission is every bit for you as it is for anyone else. So then allow me to ask you the same question that was posed to me. What passion or passions has God stirred or is stirring in you in the way of ministering to others? I'd really love to hear what you have heard.

To Resolve...or Not?

2009-01-04T14:10:00.003-07:00

Someone asked me the other day what my resolutions were for this new year. It was a fairly simple question for me to answer because I really don’t have any. However, I then explained that while I believe very much in the value of making worthy resolutions it seems there is something lacking in the motivation behind these when they are centered only on a calendar date.

So does that mean New Year’s resolutions are never worthwhile? Of course not! I think that just maybe we ought to base our desires for personal change and growth on something more than the passage of time though. And perhaps we ought to tell those that care about us the things we want to grow in. Then, they can either tell us if we're completely off our rockers, or encourage us in good change.

Before I finish up this simple query I do have one last question. If New Year’s Day should not be considered the best source of motivation when it comes to personal change, then what is? Well, the Lord always desires to speak to us and call us away from bad habits, or simply into healthier ones. To me, this is truly good news because God is not bound to only encourage is to resolve something new in our lives when January 1st rolls around. Also, if I happen to fail at an annual resolution it doesn’t really matter because the Lord will continue to speak to me, as well as equipping me to embrace His resolutions for my life.

So, go ahead and make those resolutions, but try and do so with an understanding of what the Lord desires for your life. Let Him be the one that guides you and equips you for your journey…And may you call upon Him to do so continually.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

My Victorious Lord

2009-01-02T19:16:00.003-07:00

Lost and Broken
Confused and Torn
I look to You my Lord

Words of Life
Gently Spoken
You’ve healed my wounded soul

I will serve You
And I’ll bow before You

Your blood has cleansed me
Your feet crushed my enemy

Standing up now
Moving forward
Your sword is in my hand

Your truth revealed
My future’s sealed Lord free the captives now

I’m Your soldier
I’m marching with You

You’ve come to free us
You reign victorious

Can You Hear?

2008-12-17T20:30:00.007-07:00

The ability to hear is indeed an amazing sense God has given to humanity. With it we can make momentary judgements between danger or peace, calm or excitement, sadness or joy. In a crowded room we can be bombarded by a multitude of sounds, and yet distinguish the voice of one calling to us from the other side. On a busy city street we're confronted by the rumble of tires, the screeching of brakes, the horns of irritated drivers, and still we can make out the remote beep of our own parked vehicle. Or, in the midst of a wide open wilderness we might discern the distant roar of a river's fall, the busy chatter of flitting magpies, a rustling of aspen leaves, and quickly perceive the piercing cry of an eagle.

As easily it seems for us to use this gift of hearing we've been given it somehow can seem very hard to hear the voice of our Creator. While it may not be the audible sense of hearing that is required the skill involved is quite the same. I found since truly beginning to follow Jesus that He has much that He wants to tell me. Hearing Him however, requires my willingness to listen.

Will I turn the radio off while I'm driving to work even for a moment? Will I take time to really notice other people that have real need? That may seem like a strange question in relation to hearing God, but might He have something to tell me by noticing, dare I say caring, of them? Am I willing to take a few minutes to ask the Lord what He might think about the enormous decision I'm about to make? And what about the little ones? Doesn't He care about those too?

Then of course, if I'm really concerned with knowing what the Lord would say to me, that is if I really want to hear Him I'll open the pages of His Bible. And I won't just read the words I find there, rather I will allow His words to read me. I'll take a few moments and consider the message before me and I might even ask Him if He has anything further to show me, then I might just wait. Of course...that's if I really want to hear.

The Sublte Fade of Cynicism

2008-11-29T08:52:00.006-07:00

What do you do when the fading leaf of cynicism has fallen to the ground and is beginning to settle in the soil of your heart? Like any attitude, ill or healthy, we can quickly recognize the things we feel toward others and develop opinions about these individuals based on our feelings. We may even feel justified in a particularly negative attitude if we know of wrong choices or behaviors, having been displayed by them. Yet, what do you do when a momentary response has subtly changed, like a fading and falling leaf, to become the new way of interacting with this individual?...and...despite the recognized illness and hurtfulness of the other's behavior we seemed to have lost the ability to really love them?

Oh, and I do not mean the kind of contrived love that can be identified by the quick way we respond to those we know we should love and return their spoken sentiments to them like a neatly folded napkin tucked into its drawer. What do we do when the love that Paul spoke of isn't resident within us, at least concerning this person for whom we've become cynical?

As I sit here in a cozy Northwest coffee shop the Lord didn't take much time to show me that I had my own illness of cynicism eating away at me. He used the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 13, verses 6 and 7 to be exact, as a mirror to my soul. I realized, at least concerning a certain individual, that the love I spoke was no longer rising to the the protection, trust, hope, and perseverance that my dear friend Paul said should at least in part define love. Then I was further convicted when the Lord reminded me that in the youthfulness, and foolishness, of my own life I had done many things which caused me to be soiled and shamed in His presence...Yet, in His great grace and love me He took me in, truly washed me clean, and called me His own. So, how can I not display the same kind of concern and compassion for another?

So, once again, I ask you my dear friends, what do you do when cynicism keeps you from truly loving another?

Grieving for Vegas

2008-11-23T20:02:00.004-07:00

This past week I was in Las Vegas, attending a conference for work. This was the first time I had ever spent any time on the main strip, which is where my hotel was located. While I'm thankful that I didn't feel a pull to engage in any of the activities Vegas is known for I was still very bothered. During my free time my wife (Thank you for coming with me babe) and I made it our aim to spend some very valuable time together in what we considered safe environments. I was truly blessed that she was there with me and am quite sure that if she were not the time outside of the conference would have been utterly miserable.

Still, once we had left and started on our way home there were certain images seen from Las Vegas Blvd I found difficult to forget. One such image is that of a man that quite literally crossed my path our last day there. I don't know his story but I do know he's a man that has seen many many miles, and it showed. His clothing was utterly stained and tattered and seemingly free of any un-frayed edges. He seemed barely able to shuffle his feet across the sidewalk. His face also bore the harshness his life on the streets had become accustomed to as he held an expression void of emotion but whose eyes seemed to yearn for something, anything, better than he'd known.

While this man serves as only one example to me of the hurt and pain and disillusion of a city that glorifies every unholy thing there were also many others I will not soon forget. All of these people have, quite unknowingly I'm sure, been trapped by sin's allure. While I was tremendously bothered by the expressions of sin I saw so rampant I was also grieved for the many people there who live from day to day from the inside of a prison cell, and yet they do not know. Yet, I am also not so naive to not recognize that the same allures are not found in that city alone. Quite sadly they are nearly everywhere, though not often as available or obvious.

So tonight I grieve. I grieve for those that have been deceived by the hellish lies and the sin that promises to offer so much, but in the end only provides a cold floor and a door of bars. I pray that in such places the influence and love of Christ would break all bonds and that the captives there would truly be set free. Won't you join me in praying for them too?

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Galatians 5:13-14

Peace and...Interruptions?

2008-11-15T08:59:00.016-07:00

The wonderful richness of a freshly brewed cup of coffee along with my Bible and journal are three treasures I look forward to enjoying every week. Oh, I enjoy each of these daily, but not from the comfort of my favorite corner coffee shop. That time is usually only savored once every week. So, with my pack on my shoulder and one of my favorite mugs in hand I routinely go there before dawn every Saturday morning. I arrive at the shop and set my pack down on my preffered seat before acquring the caffeinated delight of choice. Then it's time to settle in and discover the freshness and depth of God's word to me for that day, and often for that season.

There is nothing quite so important to me as getting to know the Lord a little more from day to day and from week to week, and to hear Him speak what He will to me about my life. So, there in my own little corner of this coffee shop I attempt to attune my ears to His word, spoken through those written pages of ink. In fact, this has been so valuable to me that I try to utterly avoid (ignore?) the voices of those coming and going, and sometimes sitting right next to me. After all, is there anything so important as spending time with God, even to the extent of blocking out those near? Well, clearly I've revealed a flaw of character, and yet this had been my real attitude for years. I reasoned that since Jesus made it His practice to regularly go to solitary places to pray and be with His Father, shouldn't I do the same?

While it's true that Jesus did in fact make that His aim, He was also often interrupted by the lives of those all around. However, instead of causing people to feel like interruptions, He actually displayed His love and care for them, even in those moments when He desired to be alone. Not so long ago this reality began to sink in and the Lord challenged me to respond to others the same way, even in the midst of my beloved early Saturday morns. So, there I was yesterday morning, enjoying my hot cup of joe and trying to focus on the words of John Mark. However, I was distracted by a comment made by the gentlemen behind me chatting with the Barista. He mentioned that he was heading down that morning to visit with his wife, who was quite literally in prison.

I then immediately thought of a friend of mine that had recently become involved in prison ministry, and I wondered if she ministered at the same facility where this gentlemen's wife was incarcerated. Then, the Lord very quietly but very distinctly whispered to me telling me to speak to the man. So, of course I argued with Him about it...after all, how would he receive it? Since he would be taking his cup of coffee with him out the door in just moments what opportunity did I really have? When I realized he then had to wait a minute or two for my friends behind the counter to fetch him some creamer, or something, I knew the Lord had won the arguement.

"Sir...I couldn't help but overhear..." I said. To my surprise he very warmly received the words of concern and offer to connect his wife to this friend of mine. Although the exchange didn't go much beyond that the Lord made it clear to me that this gentleman was shown His love and care. As I sit here finishing this post (now over a week removed from the event of which I've written) I do not recall the content of my devotional reading and journaling that day. The Lord's stretching of my comfort zone is very clear however. May Christ so stretch all of us that those burdened by life's worries and hurt might know and feel His embrace.

Trail Guide

2008-11-09T15:57:00.015-07:00

Venturing to any mountain’s ridgeline is a journey that always leaves me captivated and enthralled. The sheer beauty and majesty of it seems to take hold of me. I take joy in every wild flower that dances from the gentle movement of a welcome breeze. Every white ripple, no matter how great or small, breaking upon moss laden rocks brings delight to my soul. There is a thrill of catching just a glimpse of the mountains’ kingly creatures whether roaming about the land or soaring upon the wind. Yet, despite the glory of such natural bounty and creativity I find that I can at times be left exhausted, and not only physically.

You see I’ve discovered in recent years that the solitude of the wild has become like an intimate sanctuary for me. There are places where I am able to escape while enjoying a truly fulfilling rest even as I’m expending my energy. Yet, these journeys only provide me with the opportunities for such welcome peace. An outdoorsmen’s outlet alone cannot allow me the solace my soul longs for. That only comes when those places and moments I so much enjoy are shared with the One for whom my soul longs to be near, Jesus. I can journey across hills, through canyons, and over a mountain but I find that if such an adventure is not spent alongside my Lord it is only exhilarating in the moment while later I am spent. This usually only happens when my focus rests only on the content of my surroundings rather than the content of my company.

I also find this same reality to be at work in other places of my life not limited to a landscape penetrated by trails. Recently, I’ve felt challenged by the Lord to dream and to trust Him in a way I never expected He would desire me to, and yet His call could not be clearer. So I have responded to His beckon by taking the steps I have thus far seen placed before me. However, having done so I now find myself in a place of waiting, not because I’m unsure of where the trail might lead but simply because my Guide has said to wait. Yet, this has been incredibly challenging. Just as I can be compelled to take in the beauty of a wilderness and not share it with the Lord, since hearing this call I have also tended to set my gaze upon the trail that is still before me rather than upon the One I am meant to follow.

I don’t mean to write in such a mysterious way, it’s just that only a very small part about this journey has been shown to me at this point. While that may seem to be, even to me, the impetus for my frustration' I know that it is not. I have been frustrated and at times exhausted because I have given myself to anxious thoughts and even fears centered upon the unknown. These have caused me to feel just the way Bilbo describes himself in the Lord of the Rings, “thin, like butter scraped over too much bread". However, the Lord is never the author of fear or anxiety. While He will take that which causes us to question Him (or to doubt) and challenge us in those fears, this is only done so that we might give ear to Him and trust Him more surely. I don’t know exactly how this trail that has been set before me will unwind, but I do know that when I walk beside my Friend and Guide the journey is far richer.

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:13-14

October Snowman

2008-10-17T14:45:00.011-06:00

The cool crisp mornings of autumn have a way of making me feel just a little more alive. That sudden snap in the air of a new day's dawn makes that first breath as I step through the front door a little sweeter. The arrival of autumn in northern Utah this year was sweeter still. This past Sunday as I rose for the day and set out to join with my church family for our morning service I was welcomed by a surprising yet beautiful blanket of snow and a still falling white sky. It wasn't just a little snow either, by the end of the day there must have been at least 6 or 7 inches in my yard.

Of course this could mean only one thing to my children. We must venture out into the 30 degree air and the 15 mph wind and snow to make snow angels and build a snowman. While I immediately recognized the genius of such a plan we had to restrain ourselves, after all the conditions seemed a little less than preferred for my little munchkins. I did however suggest that the next day offered much more promise for such necessary tasks, which my daughter seemed to accept, however her younger brother wasn't quite so sure.

A bright blue sky with not quite the same bite as the previous day was revealed the next morning. However, it was also Columbus Day which for me meant an additional day off from the regular routine. This of course, as we all know, further meant that I would have a great many things to tend to before the day should sunset. Yet, that was one thing my little ones had no concept of. Instead they were all too aware of the diminishing snow and with it the possibility to craft a snowman. Still, every once in awhile I tend to get caught up in a little too much of me. I can so quickly forget that what is really the most important thing are not the goals or work or things that I must do, but the time spent with those I deeply love. This is something I would have the opportunity to recall well before the days end.

The moment my daughter arrived home from school she knew what she must do, she had angels and a snowman to build after all and my experience in such matters was certainly required. As she was inviting me to join her in her mad dash I had on mind those remaining tasks for that day. It was at that moment that the Lord caused me to realize how rarely the opportunity exists to craft an October Snowman with one of the people I love most in this world. I quickly began to melt just as the snow was also doing. Still, I had one more task to do, so I walked upstairs and but on my boots, hat, and gloves and ventured outside with my little girl and together we made an October Snowman.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. - Luke 12:34

Thank you Lord for teaching me once more where my treasure should really be. May we all grasp the importance of cherishing the moments with our loved ones that we'll never get back...http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=eac4832eebb6a5e40202

The Winding Road

2008-10-09T19:05:00.005-06:00

In every national forest or wilderness area that I've ventured into I've traveled upon long and winding roads. The roads themselves weren't really a part of the journey I sought, but still had to be used if the real adventure could ever ensue. Then, each time along the way to the trail heads that mark the entrances into the lands I sought I've realized these roads do in fact become part of the journey. Of course the greatest joys and exhilirations for me are always found on the trail rather than the road, but the road is so very necessary. Without setting out on the pavement I could never reach the point where the soil of the longed for trail begins.

As I began writing this I immediately thought about the Christian believer's way of faith, and that the way of and in Christ is in fact straight and narrow. Let me quickly reassure you that this musing is not intended to be a commentary on the way of belief intended for Christ's followers. Instead this is simply an observation that in the distant, and often recent, pasts that precede the moment we live in there are these long and winding roads. They represent the actuality of the roads we've taken and the ways we've lived rather than what the Lord has necessarily intended. Thank God that Jesus meets us on these roads and points us to the trail heads we've been aiming for, and which He's been calling us to. Yet, let us not mistake that these winding roads are there and it is by His grace that they do in fact wind rather than being one hairpin turn after another.

If the trail I was looking for started when I heeded Christ's call to know and follow him during an Air Force chapel service in basic training then my own winding road started somewhere in my early teens. It was in those days that I was beginning to challenge many of the vitally important truths I had been told, whether about family, life, or God. As with nearly every teen there are numerous factors that contribute to rebellion, but at the core of a young man's heart is a need to be affirmed and highly valued by his father.

I didn't know this back then but my father was doing every thing he knew to do in an effort to be what he understood a good father to be. The long hours my dad would often work along with the difficulty of his labor caused me to take great pride in him as a little boy, but as the years went by I mistakenly began to lessen the importance of his efforts in my mind. By the time I was in my early teens I had been frustrated a few too many times by unmet expectations and missed opportunities, but I lacked the ability to express these to him. So instead I'd become a little more angry about the missed football or basketball games and a little more unwilling to do what he expected of me. Of course each time this happened I'd wind up getting a little further down a road that was not only creating more distance from my father, but from the Lord as well.

There were other influences in those years that also caused me to take a number of foolish turns that actually steered me away from the trail of significance I was trying to find. Rather than glorify lifestyles of hurt and pain, which were characterized by behaviors I knew were both unhealthy and wrong I'll simply say that God's grace to me was very very great. It was because of that amazing grace that the trail guide I needed met me on the confused labyrinth of a winding road I had traveled. As I said the Lord met me in that boot camp chapel service and I knew that if I were going to venture out from that trail head everything before that moment would have to change, and it did. With the Holy Spirit as my guide I realized my responsibility for the difficulty in the relationship with my father and sought to began restoration. He also began to show me the tools and techniques I would need to journey and navigate well on the trail I had finally found. Living on this trail would of course mean that I would never again require the use of any long and winding road.

What is the winding road in your rearview mirror?

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
Isaiah 30:21